Today, brides and grooms are increasingly interested in writing their own "Wedding Vows", or perhaps incorporating a message within their recommended formal vows in order to personalize the ceremony. Working on the ceremony together will also bring you closer together.. This requires slow, serious composition in which words are selected very carefully. When begun well in advance, it will not only finalize another detail in the entire scheme of wedding planning, but will also allow for ample time for the couple to be as creative, thoughtful and concise in the wording as possible. Over the course of time with reading and reviewing, these personal vows will often change and evolve, even if only a little.

If you are having a religious ceremony, be sure to consult your officiant before proceeding. Each religious denomination has its own protocol for and you want to be sure that what you're choosing to do is allowed and accepted. By speaking with the officiant well in advance, you can find out early on if there is a conflict so you will be able to find another officiant if necessary.

If you like the idea of making your ceremony more personal and reflective of your feelings and beliefs, you should approach this with care and patience in order to create an exact expression from your hearts. Select with care each word and phrase that you will exchange. Like a poet honing his most treasured writing, your feelings and the message you wish to convey will remain the same, but the way in which you choose to deliver them may continue to unfold.

You and your fiancé should agree on the tone of this personal exchange before beginning to compose the piece...whether working together or independently. This will lend continuity to the nuptials and make it easier to write the vows once a mood or style is decided upon. Remember this is considered a solemn occasion so refrain from child-rearings, intimate thoughts, and financial issues.

The way in which you as a couple decide to write your vows will vary depending on how you are the most comfortable. Some couples choose to write their own portions independently, keeping their vows confidential until they are face to face on the wedding day. Other couples prefer to write them together with each contributing their thoughts and feelings to create one unified message. Another alternative is to first work on your own initially only to come together to craft the final version of their vows.

You may consider many sources when looking for inspiration. From the classic sonnets of Shakespeare to the lyrics of contemporary song writers, there is an abundance of ideas available. You may quote specifically or put these thoughts into your own words. It is the message you convey to each other along with the guests present that will be remembered.

For many couples, their religious beliefs will be the cornerstone of their relationship. If that is the case, let your vows reflect these religious views in order to relay your commitment. Others wish to be slightly more poetic to add beauty to their ceremony.

Understand that as easy as this may appear on the surface, it is somewhat of a challenge. Be sure you have the time to do this properly. It is not something you want to rush simply to get done. Your commitment to the end result will clearly show and the effort will be rewarded in your personal satisfaction and the uniqueness you add to your wedding celebration. There are no truer words spoken than those from your heart.

It is suggested you bring clearly written or typed sets of the vows to the ceremony. Even if you planned on reading them from memory, sometimes the excitement of the moment can create a certain amount of nervousness and make it difficult to remember the phrases word for word. You can disguise the written lines in a prayer book or attractive folder of some kind. It is also wise to give a copy to the officiant as well. [ back ]