In the sometimes hectic and anxious days preceding the wedding, the strain on the bride and groom can be greatly reduced with the support and cooperation of the bridal party. With so many things on their minds, it may become exhausting or even impossible to see that every detail is executed perfectly and nothing is over looked. This article is dedicated to all the "someday" and "soon-to-be" attendants and ushers. By pitching in, you will allow for a few extra smiles and more romantic moments for the two wonderful people about to become husband and wife.

The evolution of the traditional wedding party has expanded to allow for brides choosing a man of honor (as their honor attendant) or a bridesman (instead of a bridesmaid). This allows the bride to have a close male friend in her bridal party. The groom may choose a best woman or female usher to be a part of his bridal party as well. Those filling these new attendant roles will still wear the same attire as the other attendants of his/her sex in the wedding party. Here are listings of the traditional roles of the wedding party:

Traditionally the bride and her mother have been largely responsible for coordinating the wedding. Today however, many brides and grooms are assuming more and more responsibility and input for the wedding. Because many couples both have careers, wedding coordinators/consultants are becoming more popular to step in and handle many of the details which the bride and groom find little or no time to dedicate to. No matter what the decision there, there are special things that the bride will do on her own.
 

Discuss the budget of the entire wedding.

 

Begin compiling the guest list of your family and friends in conjunction with your parents.

 

Select the wedding date and style.

 

Choose the ceremony and reception site.

 

Decides on the officiant with her fiancé.

 

Selects her honor attendant and bridesmaids.

 

Begins interviewing professionals - photographers, videographers, florists, bakers, stationers and all other needed services for the wedding day.

 

Shops with honour attendant and bridesmaids for the attendants' dresses.

 

Coordinates the duties of each attendant.

 

Arranges for accommodations for out-of-town attendants.

 

Purchases gifts for her attendants.

 

Gather all attendants for small luncheon or tea to become acquainted.

 

Shops with groom for wedding rings.

 

Stands in receiving line with groom.

 

Dances first dance with groom and then later with her father.

 

Spends time visiting her guests and both sets of parents.

 

Writes thank you notes acknowledging gifts received.

More and more, today's grooms are becoming very involved in planning the wedding with the bride. This is also a great way to begin the partnership which they will enjoy throughout the marriage. Negotiations are easier and more successful when two people are planning and coordinating the various aspects. The old saying "Two heads are better than one" certainly applies here.
 

Discuss the budget of the entire wedding.

 

Begin compiling the guest list of your family and friends in conjunction with your parents.

 

Help the bride interview prospective professionals for the wedding.

 

Decide on the officiant with the bride.

 

Selects best man and ushers.

 

Speak to parents about the rehearsal dinner.

 

Shops with the bride for the wedding rings.

 

Select a gift for the bride.

 

Handles preparing for the marriage license and arranges to pick it up.

 

Make all honeymoon arrangements.

 

Reserves a block of hotel rooms for out-of-town guests and ushers.

 

Pays for the flowers for the bride along with her going away corsage and those for the mothers, grandmothers, aunts, and friends.

 

Stands in receiving line with the bride.

 

Dances first dance with the bride and later with his mother.

 

Responds to best man's toast.

 

Spends time with the guests and both sets of parents.

 

Helps with thank you notes for gifts received.

The matron-of-honour is a married woman and the maid-of-honour is a single woman. If you are torn between two sisters or best friends, you can have two honour attendants and each can share in the duties.

Prior to the wedding -- The first task at hand will be to prepare a shower for the bride. This may be arranged jointly with the mothers of the bride and groom. In addition help arrange all the bridesmaids' fitting for their dresses and pay for your dress. Help address invitations. Coordinate the purchase of a gift for the bride with the rest of the attendants. It may be done together or each may want to get something individually. Attend all pre wedding parties.

The day of the wedding -- Arrive early to help the bride dress and help finish packing if the couple is leaving directly after, or the next day on their honeymoon. Throughout the day, assist the bride with her train and veil. Hold the brides bouquet and the groom's ring during the ceremony. Stand next to the bride during the ceremony and the groom in the receiving line. Sign the marriage license as a witness. Dance with the best man during the couples' first dance.

This important role is usually filled by the groom's most trustworthy friend or relative.

Prior to the wedding -- Checks on the details of the arrangement for out-of-town ushers. Be sure the ushers have been measured and fitted for their tuxedos. Arrange the bachelor party for the groom. Double check on the couple's honeymoon arrangements. Be sure of the transportation for the groom and ushers on the wedding day. Attend all pre wedding parties.

The day of the wedding --Arrive early to be sure groom is outfitted properly and finished packing for the honeymoon if the couple is departing immediately from the reception or the next day. Sign marriage license as a witness. Remain with the groom as guests arrive. Hold the bride's ring during the ceremony. Distribute fees for officiant, organist, soloist, etc. Disperse gratuities to the limousine driver(s). Get transportation in order during the receiving line. Propose a toast to the bride and groom and read any telegrams which are sent. Dance with the honour attendant. Assist in the couple's departure from the reception.

The number of attendants is based on the size and formality of the wedding. While most couples limit to eight on each side, some go as high as twelve or more attendants and ushers. Small intimate weddings sometimes have only the honour attendant and best man. You need not have the same amount of bridesmaids as ushers.

Bridesmaids:

Prior to the wedding -- Attend fittings and pay for your attire. Assist in the planning of the shower if you are asked. Help address invitations and complete last minute details. Attend all pre wedding parties.

The day of the wedding -- Pick up our bouquet at the bride's home. Inquire as to where the attendants are to gather prior to the ceremony. Participate in the processional and recessional. Dance with your partner during the first dance. Mingle with guests and be charming.

Ushers:

Prior to the wedding -- Get measured, fitted and pay for your tuxedo. Assist the best man with the bachelor party of asked. Help the groom with last minute details. Attend all pre wedding parties.

The day of the wedding -- Be early to the ceremony and seat the guests - left side for bride's guests, right side for groom's. Step forward and offer your right arm to guests as they arrive. Escort eldest guests first if several arrive together. Unroll the aisle runner. Escort guests to their cars after the ceremony with umbrellas if it's raining. Participate in the processional and recessional. Be sure the ceremony site is cleared of all guests' and wedding party's belongings. Dance with the bridesmaids during the first dance. Mingle with the quests, remaining ever charismatic. [ back ]