My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame
But wholly lean on Jesus name
On Christ the solid rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand
When the storms of life come hurling at us, it is then that we find out if we built our house on the rock, Jesus Christ.
We read in Mathews Gospel, chapter 7:24-27, as Jesus ends His sermon on the mount, these words:
"Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:
And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.
And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand:
And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it."
I would like to share leading up to and during a storm that came upon my life in June of 1990, and how Jesus gave me victory spiritually, and by His amazing grace, He drew me a little closer and deeper in Him.
I was baptized at 14 years of age, only it occurred with head knowledge of Jesus Christ, nothing to do with my heart, leaving me as unsaved and unaware of an intimate personal relationship with Jesus as before I got baptized. After finishing high school, my life became nothing but a party. Alcohol, drugs, and sex became my life, along with many other occurrences I'm sure brought pain and sorrow to my mother and father. I'm so grateful that God continued to reveal Himself and present opportunities for me to come to know Him. In October of 79, one morning after working midnight's, I approached a man I knew could give me an answer to a question that was on my heart (this man lived his faith for others to see). I had met a girl who meant more to me than anything before her, and now I wanted to do things right. I attribute this thinking to my parent's enforcing my attendance in church, even though that was the last place I wanted to be. My questioned centered on the idea of sex before marriage, for I had partially convinced myself that because I loved this girl, premarital sex was all right. I used to think of that man I approached as an idiot, for his lifestyle seemed very foreign to me, it was centered on Jesus. He invited me over to his house one morning after work to discuss the situation, and in my mind he was going to show me some Scripture that would justify my thoughts on the subject.
As we sat at the table going over some Biblical perspectives on marriage and the sanctification of it, my theories stood no ground. More importantly and foremost was the spiritual awakening that was beginning to transpire inside me. Before leaving that morning, my life began down a new road, one of life, love, peace, fulfillment, and storms, as I surrendered my heart to Jesus Christ. I was born again, transformed into a new creation.
I was excited and on fire for the Lord Jesus, reading my Bible and praying, developing an intimate personal relationship with Him. There was no concern for what others thought of me, for my heart was fixed on Jesus who had brought a newfound meaning to life.
This was lasting for a while until I allowed the cares and concerns of this world to choke out the Spirit of God. I knew Jesus as my Savior, but had not fully made Him Lord of all.
I had a beautiful wife, two precious children, a home, a dog, cat, and horses, but something was missing. Because of my lack of commitment in all areas to the Lord, I could not find full happiness. Something was missing, and I knew it.
In November of 89, by the grace of God, I was sitting in a crusade when an altar call was given to surrender pride, the root of all sin. Hesitant, sweaty and with a heart beating at 90 miles an hour, I got out of my seat, walked to the altar and surrendered my life to Jesus, as Lord. From that point on, God began His work of shaping and molding me into someone He could work through to glorify His name and further His kingdom. Emptied of self and filled with His Spirit
In December of 89 I was re-baptized, this time for my confession of Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior of my life. I remember looking out of the sanctuary window for my wife, in fear that they would miss a very important event in my life. She did make it there, only to spend the time in the nursery, not sharing the same excitement as me.
As the year finished and a new one begun, I grew closer to the Lord, my children and I truly thought to my wife, for I began to share with her more love than I had previously known, for it was the love of God being manifested in my life.
We had different lifestyles, we would attend Sunday morning services together as a family, and I would return in the evening, hungry for the Word. I wanted to attend Sunday School to learn more about God but didn't, so as to arrive together for the morning service.
I made my first big step in drawing closer to God, after battling with satan, when I attended Wednesday prayer meeting. I learned quick that prayer is so very important, for it is our communion with God. If satan can hinder our prayer life, he will have successfully controlled the power of God through us. I began praying with my children before bedtime, and through obedience to God, the blessings came as I watched my children grow in their knowledge of God.
God continued to work in my life as I became separated from sin and sanctified to Him. Many areas of my life changed, including television and music. It was a joy to experience the presence of God leading me along the path set before me.
As anyone knows who has an unbelieving partner, we walk a fine line in our relationship with each other, and so realizing where I used to be, and taking that into consideration, I prayerfully sought God's wisdom and continued to walk with the Lord. I had to make important decisions, and when I didn't consult God it showed, for I would have to seek forgiveness from my wife and the Lord. It is no wonder that the Bible warns us not to be unequally yoked together.
I continued in prayer for the salvation of my wife, and placed my children in the arms of my Father in Heaven, that they too might come to experience the fulfillment in life that God alone can give them.
As my 33rd birthday approached, my thoughts reflected on the Lord Jesus and his life coming to an end as He was spit upon, beaten and crucified for my sins, that I might have freedom and communion with God. As the days unfolded, a couple of weeks before my birthday, after getting ready for work, my wife told me that she had given this a lot of thought, and was going to leave me. My heart sunk as this vigorous storm in my life approached. I never imagined that this and the events that followed would ever happen to me.
As the days unfolded, my heart was cut deep with pain; but my faith in God only grew; for I stood upon His Word and promises to those whose hearts are loyal to Him. God was giving me the wisdom to deal with the situation, a peace to accept it, and strength to walk in it.
A week before my 33rd birthday, my wife moved out to an apartment taking my children with her. By the grace of God, and beyond worldly understanding, my 33rd birthday was very special despite the current situation. I had a peace from God, knowing that whatever transpired, whatever the present circumstances appeared to be, God was still in control.
It wasn't more than two weeks later when my heart was cut even deeper. God has a special way and timing for preparing his children for things to come. I attended a prayer meeting that night, and without intending to, I shared for the first time, some circumstances that were happening in my marriage. Sometimes I felt as if I didn't need to share, but that night, God had me empty the pain, replacing it with love and peace, sweet fellowship and prayer with brothers and sisters in Christ.
After prayer meeting, it was decided to fellowship more at a local restaurant. What I saw as I walked through the door sent a dagger deep into the center of my heart. My wife was sitting close beside another man enjoying his presence. That piercing pain I felt destroyed a part of me.
,for my wife had become a part of me for the last ten years, and now I was not whole.
I know what it means when the Bible says
"The man shall leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh"
What made things even worse, was that my children were witness to all this, and another man was taking my place as father, watching them grow and helping them in the little things in life we take for granted. I remember nights of tears as I clung onto God's Word, such as these powerful and reassuring promises
"Be still and know that I am God"... Psalm 46:10
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And lean not unto your own understanding
In all your ways acknowledge Him
And He shall direct your paths"... Proverbs 3:5,6
And that it was I did, not trying to understand, and definitely not allowing self pity to take root and destroy, but I sought God's face whole hearted. He supplied my needs as I needed them, fellowship and prayer with brothers and sisters in Christ, direction and spiritual filling through Scripture, Christian radio, television and music. I focussed all of my attention on Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith. I only grew in wisdom and strength as my life unfolded in the arms of Jesus. Much confusion on how to handle different situations could have destroyed me, but through the grace of God, there was continual spiritual victory through Jesus.
My relationship with my children, and the blessings that came as I sought God's direction were priceless. Circumstances changed with my wife, for another man had taken the place of the first, and once again I had to feel the blade of hurt twisting deeper into my heart. I could do nothing but cry out to God, and in so doing, release the pain to Him, that He could heal, and fill that void with His supernatural Love. Even now as I write, tears trickle from my eyes as I recall the wounds that have left their scars. My eyes saw many hurtful occurrences as satan pushed to destroy what God was building. I have a book filled with the hurtful experiences that I had recorded, but at the end of each one, there is a praise to God for victory.
Finally in closing, God has and continues to bless my life so much. He brought me through a storm, and as Ray Boltz sings, "I have journeyed through the long hard nights, though the ship is battered and the sails are torn, the anchor holds in spite of the storm".
God has given me the assurance that despite what my children see, they will know the truth is in Christ, and one day they will know that for themselves. God has blessed me with the opportunity to see my sister in law (another special story)come to Jesus Christ, and her son, and my brother recommit his life with God. My parents drew closer to God, and what a blessing they were to me through the whole situation. I met a brother in the Lord who became my best friend and my inspiration to strive after seeking God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. After a period of three years, God brought into my life a beautiful Christian woman (and that's another story, but I have exhausted my time here). She has four special daughters, the oldest that went from not wanting anything to do with God, to becoming a child of the King, and the others who are continually exposed to the truth in Christ, and one day, they too, will come to know Jesus as Lord and Savior.
My eyes have seen the Gospel of Jesus Christ spread out to others, and my heart has been filled with joy, tears of joy as I watched many come to know the Lord Jesus. I realized that this is the purpose of life, to glorify God, to be a vessel for Him to flow through to others and further His Kingdom to His Glory. This is where I am happiest.
topSo I praise God, for He is just, and righteous and He is God.